Nursery schools and day care centers around the country received boxes of vintage stuffed dolls in the image of Baby Jesus from Saddle River World Outreach.

A tag assured that the fabric was hypoallergenic, that the materials were safe and that it was proudly Made in the U.S.A.

When squeezed, the doll said, “Jesus loves you,” “Honor thy father and thy mother,” and a half-dozen other family and child related verses. It was estimated that, in total, over half a million dolls were distributed within a 48 hour period.

The children loved them.

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Despite cease and desist orders from attorneys representing the intellectual property of Camel in a Haystack LLC (aka Prosperity Cathedral), Sarah Gonzales first incorporated, then branded her enterprise SuzzePoops, Inc. ($150 online).

She expanded her suzzewear.com product line to include x-large to xxx-large as well as children’s sizes; then designed gold-seamed luxury “SuzzePoops” bathrobes for $249.99 which included a complementary sample of her new line of Suzze-themed hair care products.

Telling her rags to riches (no-pun-intended-ha-ha) story in a two hour cycle on Home Shopping Network generated 102,000 orders give or take. Allowing for a standard 25% return and other fees, she collected a one-day paycheck of over $400,000.00 which would stand as her personal best throughout her career.

She moved her family to a middle class neighborhood in Orlando, rented a warehouse-shipping facility on a short-term lease and signed up for twenty hours a month on Net Jet.

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Two weeks after a local option allowed prayer in the public schools in Lawrenceville, Kansas, ten year old Jessica Williams, known as a precocious child, pulled a vintage Mac-10 from her backpack and unloaded it into her teacher while eyes were closed for daily devotionals, whereupon Williams walked outside, dropped the gun, raised her hands in defiance and proclaimed, “Nobody tells me to pray.” She was shot twenty-seven times by school security officers.

In a prepared statement, District 45 Representative Melanie Meigs (R), who spearheaded the prayer initiative said, "Gun control is not the problem. Jesus control is. Without the moral and ethical guidance that only Christ provides, atheistic behavior such as this can only be expected to increase. Losing young Jessica is a tragedy, but as long as America continues to turn its back on Jesus, as long as children are reared in households that know not the glory and power of our Lord, these incidents, this conflict, will continue."

Public reaction was mixed.

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With $12 million in venture funding and an additional $8 million loan secured against her intellectual property, Sarah bought the exclusive North American franchise for Fresh Canned Vaginas, as well rights for derivative products and domains based on CannedVaginatm, which she sold along with energy drinks and snacks from vending machines outside marijuana dispensaries.

She netted only $3.57 cents per unit, but her effort was minimal since Indian industrial giant TaTas handled manufacturing and distribution under a joint venture agreement. Both demand and growth were spectacular.

She accepted an invitation to present at TED.

In the meantime, she was preparing for her driver’s test.

With the infrastructure in place to support her SuzzePoops ventures in place, and with time to pursue personal interests, Sarah Gonzales chartered a 501k not for profit corporation, SarahLoves, which she then seeded with a twenty-five million dollar grant, its signature project being the opening of mixed-use, housing-vocational-education facility for 1,000 abandoned children in the greater Tampa metro area.

Although too young to hold office, her name was whispered in political circles. She adamantly endorsed no one.

She accepted an invitation to present at TED.

In the meantime, she was preparing for her driver’s test.

Consolidating data from multiple sources, The Book issued their annual report on the most popular names for newborns, noting a sudden and dramatic increase in Teutonic first names of children of families originally of Northern European descent, centered among white, educated, low income households.

Over a two-year period, more than 55% of boys and 35% of girls were given what social media labeled ‘pagan’ names.

The top ten names for boys were: Allerich, Rodgerich, Leonhart, Baldr, Forseti, Hermóðr, Fryr, Dellingr, Loki, and Thor.

For girls:  Sunna, Friia, Freyja, Beyla, Volla, Sigyn, Sigournei, Angbroda, Prẽs(cilla), and Zisa.

This renaming, or “rebranding” as it was being called, was accompanied by fashion trends emphasizing second hand clothing without logos, unkempt hair and primitive facial makeup, unstructured music and twirling dances.

Social scientists speculated that these “flower children” as they were being called, had merely inherited the social genetics of their grandparents and great-grandparents, and that the meme had apparently skipped a generation.

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The Indian Council of Medical Research (ICMR) released findings of a controversial study conducted by Dr. Pradesh Bangloveshi, (built upon the research of Harris and others) which examined the neural basis of religious and non-religious belief using Functional Magnetic Resonance Imaging (fMRI) and concluded that fewer than 9% of Christians were sincere in their belief. (Deemed “True Believers”)

Two groups, one of self-proclaimed “committed Christians,” the other, self-identified “atheists, nonbelievers and free-thinkers” were scanned as they evaluated the truth and falsity of religious and nonreligious propositions.

The Harris research had previously established that for both groups, statements of belief were associated with increased activation of ventromedial prefrontal cortex, a region of the brain involved in emotional judgment, processing uncertainty, assessing rewards and thinking about oneself. A "comparison of all religious trials to all nonreligious trials produced a wide range of signal differences throughout the brain," and the processing of religious belief and empirical belief differed in significant ways. The regions associated with increased activation in response to religious stimuli included the anterior insula, the ventral striatum, the anterior cingulate cortex, and the posterior medial cortex. (en.wikipedia.org/wiki/sam-harris)

A follow-up study, though inconclusive, suggests a striking correlation between the 9% and those suffering from other psychiatric disorders including Internet Gaming Disorder.

It has long been held that Christianity is merely a meme, defined as an element of a culture or system of behavior that may be considered to be passed from one individual to another by nongenetic means, especially imitation or peer and parental pressure commonly called “brainwashing.”

The study, funded by TaTas PharmWorld, a multinational conglomerate headquartered in Uttar Pradesh, and eager to enter the U.S. health insurance market raised the question: Should health insurance pay for religious deprogramming, which is estimated to cost billions?

Asked to summarize his findings in layperson’s terms, Dr. Bangloveshi replied, “Just because Christians say they believe what they believe to be true, does not mean that they really think what they say they think is true, is indeed the truth." 

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